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Abie, the somewhat shy and retiring gentleman who lives a bit southwest, sent
this one on a Florida burglary...

Sometimes things that really happen are funnier than stuff made up:

When southern Florida resident Nathan Radlich's house was burglarized recently,
thieves ignored his wide screen plasma TV, his VCR, and even left his Rolex watch.

What they did take, however, was a white box filled with a grayish-white powder.
(That's the way the police report described it.)

A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police said that it looked similar to high grade
cocaine and they'd probably thought they'd hit the big time.

Later, Nathan stood in front of numerous TV cameras and pleaded with the burglars:
"Please return the cremated remains of my sister, Gertrude. She died three years ago."

The next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of a local drug dealer known as Hoochie
Pevens was found on Nathan's doorstep. The white box was there too; about half of
Gertrude's ashes remained.

Scotch taped to the box was this note which said: Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so
we wasted Hoochie. Sorry we snorted your sister. No hard feelings. Have a nice day.

And you thought California was the land of fruits and nuts.
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