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The Chip Board Archive 24

grin Humor From 11+ years ago... Sunday Humor...

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I tried to find the first time I did a humor post and since I couldn't
find anything earlier, believe it was back on 04/02/04. I thought I'd
re-post...

Murder at Woolies

Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a
young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large
insurance policy on his wife, with himself as the beneficiary, and
arranging to have her killed.

A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a notorious underworld
figure who went by the name of "Artie."

Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a
spouse was $5,000.

The husband said that he was willing to pay that amount but that he
wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect on his wife's
insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid something up front.

The man opened up his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that
rested inside.

Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the
dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Woolworth's
grocery store.

There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to
strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman
drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the
produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the scene.

Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to
strangle the produce manager as well. Unknown to Artie, the entire
proceedings were captured by hidden cameras and observed by the
store's security guard, who immediately called the police.

Artie was caught and arrested before he could leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the
sordid plan, including his financial arrangements with the hapless
husband.

And that is why, the next day in the newspaper, the headline declared:

[You're going to hate me for this ]
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"ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR AT WOOLIES"
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http://www.thechipboard.com/archives/archives.pl/bid/310/md/read/id/324640/sbj/ncr-on-a-less-serious-note/


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