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Short, Sweet and True...

I dialed a number and got the following recording:

"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough
to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a
message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are
one of the changes."
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( I LOVE THIS ONE! )
My wife and I had words,
But I didn't get to use mine.
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Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
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The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know
your way around, you're not going anywhere.
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God made man before woman so as to give him time to think
of an answer for her first question.
~~~~~~~

I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting
harder to find one.
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A woman asks a man who is traveling with six children, "Are
all these kids yours?"
The man replies, "No, I work in a condom factory and these are
customer complaints".
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Here is the best one! Nominated as the best short joke this year...

A three-year-old boy was examining his private parts while taking
a bath.
"Mom" he asked, "Are these my brains?"
"Not yet," she replied.
~~~~~~~

16 Examples of Irony

I bet I could quit gambling.

What if there were no hypothetical situations?

It's not my fault I don't take responsibility for my actions.

As I said before, I'll only say this once.

This statement is false.

Don't you hate rhetorical questions?

God, I want patience, and I WANT IT NOW!

Sorry, I forgot all about the Amnesia Conference!

The creation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.

I can resist everything except temptation.

I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Never believe generalizations.

Avoid alliterations always.

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now

Thank God I'm an atheist.

Just say NO to negativity.
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