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Abie, a somewhat shy and retiring gentleman who lives a bit southwest,
sent this quartet of clever insights...

BIRTH CONTROL FOR GRANDMA

The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her
life finally retired.

At her next checkup, the new Doctor told her To bring a list of all the
medicines that had been prescribed for Her.

As The young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as
he realized Grandma had a prescription for birth control Pills.

"Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are birth control Pills?

"Yes, they help me sleep at night."

"Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in These that
that could possibly help you sleep!"

She reached out and Patted the young Doctor's knee...."Yes, dear, I
know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass
of orange juice that my 16 year old Granddaughter drinks ... And
believe me, it definitely helps me sleep at night."
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THE NICE MAN BECAME IMPATIENT

A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the gorgeous
woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby.

The baby wouldn't take it, so she said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or
I'll have to give it to this nice man next to us."

Five minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so she said, "Come on,
honey. Take it or I'll give it to this nice man here."

A few minutes later, the anxious man blurted out, "Come on kid. Make up
your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!"
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BIOLOGY EXAM

This is straight from Scotland. Students in an advanced Biology class were
taking their mid-term exam.

The last question was, Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.

The question was worth 70 points or none at all.

One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages.
However, he wrote:

1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.
And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the
bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the
ground where the cat can't get it.

He got an A.
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A RIDE IN THE TAXI

A woman and her twelve-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit.
It was raining and all the prostltutes were standing under awnings.

"Mom," said the boy, "what are all those women doing?"

"They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied.

The taxi driver turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell
him the Truth? They're hokers, boy! They have sex with a lot of men
for money."

The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true Mom?"

His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers in the affirmative.

After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mom, if those women have babies,
what happens to them?"

"Most of them become taxi drivers," she said.
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