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I received the first short below from Dragnet and the second from the
Revenoor. Since they're both on the same subject, I thought I'd post
them together...

THE HONEYMOON IS OVER WHEN:

Tom decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend.

One evening, after the honeymoon, he was assembling some loads for an
upcoming hunt. His wife was standing there at the bench watching him.

After a long period of silence she finally speaks. "Honey, I've been thinking,
now that we are married I think it's time you quit hunting, shooting, hand
loading, and fishing. Maybe you should sell your guns and boat."

Tom gets this horrified look on his face.

She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"

"There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife."

"Ex wife!" she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"

"I wasn't."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa.

”The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us
sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach
lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG."

Pausing, he continued, "High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes
the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there
is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it.
Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering
for years after eating it?”

After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand,
and softly said, “Wedding Cake.”
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