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A NEW CROP OF IDIOTS for 2015

Signs were awarded to the top 8 Idiots for this year...

Number One Idiot
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison
control center. Today this woman called in very upset because she caught
her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter to the hospital.
She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention
that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency
room right
away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.


Number Two Idiot

Early this year some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life
raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane
and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a
Coast Guard helicopter
coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper
was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the
raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

Number Three Idiot
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch
and wrote this, "Put all your muny in this bag". While standing in
line, waiting
to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him
write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window
so he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After waiting 
a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.
She read it and surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest
light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because
it was written on a Bank of 
America deposit slip and that he would either have
to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking
somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes
later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of
America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
�
Number Four Idiot

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured
his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a
ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police
department a photograph
of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from
the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. Immediately
he mailed in his $40. Wise guy ... but you still get a sign.

Number Five Idiot

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the
cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber
saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told
the cashier to put it
in the bag as well but the cashier refused and said, "Because
I don't believe you're over 21." The robber said he was but the clerk still refused
to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took
his driver's license out of his
wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it
over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in
the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly
called the police and gave the name and address
of the robber that he got off
the license. They arrested the guy 2 hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.

Idiot Number Six

A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first
one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first
bandit shot him. This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.


Idiot Number Seven

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head
at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious.
Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event
was caught on videotape. 
Yep, here's your sign.

Idiot Number Eight

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing
sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out
here! I don't think this is a good place
for them to be crossing anymore."

Take the sign - Please!

Stay Alert! They walk among us ... they reproduce ... they also vote ...
and more than a few of them hold public office!
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