.
.
A guy is driving around the back woods and he sees a sign in front of
a broken down, shanty-style house: Talking Dog For Sale.

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in
the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking
Labrador retriever sitting there.

“You talk?” he asks.

“Yep,” the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says,
“So, what’s your story?”

The Lab looks up and says, “Well, I discovered that I could talk when I
was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting
in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog
would be eavesdropping."

Pausing, the Lab continued, "I was one of their most valuable spies
for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out,
and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down.
I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security,
wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered
some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got
married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he
wants for the dog.

“Ten dollars,” the guy says.

“Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him
so cheap?”

“Because the dog’s a damn liar. He never did any of that shlt.”
.

.
.