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In honor of St. Patrick's Day...

As soon as she had finished parochial school, a bright young girl named Coleen
shook the dust of Ireland off her shoes and made her way to New York where,
before long, she became a successful performer in show business.

Eventually she returned to her home town for a visit and on Saturday night went
to confession in the church which she had always attended as a child. Once in the
confessional Father Sullivan recognized her and began asking her about her work.
She explained that she was an acrobatic dancer, and he wanted to know what that
meant. She said she would be happy to show him the kind of thing she did on stage.
Colleen stepped out of the confessional and within sight of Father Sullivan, she went
into a series of cartwheels, leaping splits, handsprings and backflips.

Kneeling near the confessional, waiting their turn, were two middle-aged ladies.
They witnessed Colleen's acrobatics with wide eyes, and one said to the other:
"Will you just look at the penance Father Sullivan is givin' out this night, and me
without me bloomers on!"

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Walking into the pub, Patrick said to the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one, Sean.
I just had another tiff with the little woman."

"Oh yeah," said Sean. "And how did this one end?"

"Well I'll tell ya now when it was over," Patrick replied, "herself came to me on
her hands and knees, she did."

"You don't say? Now that`s a switch! What did she say?"

She said, "Come out from under that bed, you gutless little shlt!
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