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Miscellaneous Musings

1. A girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing a bra.
A boy is said to be grown up when he starts removing it.

2. We all love to spend money buying new clothes but we never
realize that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes.

3. Having a cold drink on a hot day with a few friends is nice, but
having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - PRICELESS.

4. Breaking News: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore.
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the
woman's husband.

5. Arguing over a girl's bust size is like choosing between Molson,
Heineken, Carlsberg and Budweiser. Men may or may not state
their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.

Finally...A recent study found that women who carry a little extra
weight live longer than the men who mention it.

At Sears The Other Day:
Al Sharpton was in Sears. He was there to protest the fact that most
all of the washing machines were white.

So the clerk called the store manager, who asked, “What is the problem
here, Reverend?”

Sharpton pointed at the machines and loudly bemoaned the fact that
most of them were white.

The manager replied, “Well, Reverend, it's true that most of the washing
machines are white, but if you'll open the lids, you'll see that all of the
agitators are black." Priceless!

The Banana Test
There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals: a lion,
a chimp, a giraffe AND a squirrel. They decide to compete to see who
is the fastest to get a banana off the tree. Who do you guess will win?
Your answer will reflect your personality. So think carefully Try and
answer within 30 seconds. Got your answer? Now scroll down to see
the analysis.
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If your answer is:
Lion = you're dull.
Chimpanzee = you're dense.
Giraffe = you're a complete moron.
Squirrel = you're hopeless.
A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS.
Obviously you're stressed and overworked. You should take some time
off and relax, have two glasses of wine and a full box of chocolates.
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