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Two April Fools Day oldies...

Courtroom Dialog

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady: I am 84 years old..

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened on
the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch
on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the
porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Harold died
some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't
felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so spicy that I just laid down
and told him: Take me, young man. Take me now!

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?

Little Old Lady: Hell, no! The little shlt just yelled, April Fools! And
that's when I shot him - the little basterd!

Have you heard about this court case? Even if it's not true... Great story!

In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and
Passover holidays.

He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists
by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their
holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate. The case was brought
before a wise judge.

After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge
banged his gavel and declared "Case Dismissed."

The lawyer immediately stood, objected to the ruling and said, "Your Honor,
how can you possibly dismiss this case? Christians have Christmas, Easter
and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah.
Yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays."

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, "Obviously your client
is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists'
holiday!"

The lawyer pompously said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday
for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?"

The judge said, "Well, it comes every year on exactly the same date... April 1st!
Since our calendar sets April 1st as April Fools Day, consider that Psalms 14:1
and Psalms53:1 state, The fool says in his heart, there is no God. Thus, in my
opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by Scripture he is a fool, thus
April 1st is his holiday!"
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