POKER CARD GUARD'S, SPINNER'S & DEALER BUTTONS WANTED FOR EXCHANGE OR PURCHASE

Humerous Idiots
Subject: A New Crop of Idiots
Number One Idiot
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she
caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the
ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into
the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to
mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill
the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency
room right away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

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Number Two Idiot

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a
life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of
the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river,
they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out
that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that
activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Three Idiot

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and
wrote this, "Put all your muny in this bag". While standing in line, waiting
to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him
write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's
window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the
Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to
the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors
that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could
not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America
deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit
slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man
said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting
in line back at Bank of America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

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Number Four Idiot

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured
his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the
mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent
the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a
letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of
handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

Wise guy ... But you still get a sign.

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Number Five Idiot

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of
the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the
robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the
shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21". The robber said
he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't
believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his
wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that
the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber
then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the
police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the
license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.

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Idiot Number Six

A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The
first one shouted, "Nobody move!". When his partner moved, the startled
first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Seven

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze,
and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. Seems the
liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on
videotape.

Yep, here's your sign .