.
.

Women vs. Men ~ Some Old, Some New

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

Keep reading-they get better!

WOMEN'S REVENGE
“Cash, check or charge?” I asked, after folding items the
woman wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control
for a television set in her purse.

“So, do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.

“No,” she replied, “but my husband refused to come shopping
with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do
to him legally.”

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN - A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour
it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still
be afraid of a spider.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, neither
saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument
and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband
asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”

“Yep,” the wife replied, "in-laws.”

WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words
women use a day - 30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to
repeat everything to men... "

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, “I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time..."

The wife responded, “Allow me to explain. God made me
beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me a bit
stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should
brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, “You should do it because you get up first, and then
we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. "
The husband said, “You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for
my coffee.”
Wife replies, “No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee.”
Husband replies, “I can't believe that, show me.”
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and
showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says: HEBREWS.

THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and
were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man
realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to
be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece
of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.” He left it where he knew
she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00
AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of
paper by the bed. The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a
rough draft before the masterpiece.
.
.

.
.