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GETTING OLDER

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.

"Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed
has to be taken for the rest of my life?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm just
wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription
is marked NO REFILLS"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and
he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.

"Yes, Dad, what is it?"

"Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn't
go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and
live with you and your wife...."
(I LOVE IT!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and
start bragging about it. This is so true. I love to hear them say "you don't
look that old."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to
know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads
weren't paved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice
change from being young.

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up
your zipper... it's even worse when you forget to pull it down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart
when they collide.

The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for
my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my
wife, too... I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her... what does
she look like?"

The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with red hair, blue
eyes, is buxom... wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts.
What does your wife look like?"

To which the old guy says, “Doesn't matter, let's look for yours."
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