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The Revenoor, a most discerning and astute gentleman from out west,
sent this collection of groaners...

Different Ways of Looking at Things

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and
family values.

Bill said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"

Larry replied, "I'm not sure. What was her maiden name?"
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"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court
Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,"

"That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then
I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
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A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room,
took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all."

"Me neither Doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good
with the kids."
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An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has
been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that
were used to put the curse on you."

The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
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A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to
fly from San Francisco to New York City?"

The agent replies, "Just a minute."

"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
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Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

"How was he killed?" asked one detective.

"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.

"A golf gun! What is a golf gun?"

"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
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Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."

Joe: "Really?"

Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."
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A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears
and asks him how he is feeling.

"I'm OK. But I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in
surgery," he answered.

"What did he say?" asked the nurse.

"Oops!"
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While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of
bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had
even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.

"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"

"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."

He's still in intensive care.
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The graveside service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap
of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by
even more thunder rumbling in the distance...

The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, “Well, she's there”
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