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The perspicacious Dragnet, who lives a bit southwest sent this one about
an Irish farmer...

Just outside of Dublin, a farmer named Paddy had a car accident. He was hit
by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company.

In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Paddy.

"'Didn't you say to the police at the scene of the accident, I'm fine?" asked
the solicitor.

Paddy responded: "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I'd just loaded my fav'rit
cow, Bessie, into da..."

"I didn't ask for any details," the solicitor interrupted. "Just answer the question.
Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, I'm fine?"

Paddy said, "Well, I'd just got Bessie into da trailer and I was drivin' down da road..."

The solicitor interrupted again and said, "Your Honour, I am trying to establish
the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene
that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my
client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Paddy's answer and said to the
solicitor: "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie."

Paddy thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Well as I was saying, I had just loaded
Bessie, my fav'rit cow, into de trailer and was drivin' her down de road when this
huge Eversweet truck and trailer came tundering tru a stop sign and hit me trailer
right in da side. I was trown into one ditch and Bessie was trown into da udder. By
Jaysus I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move. However, I could hear
old Bessie moanin' and groanin'. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.
Shortly after da accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear
Bessie moanin' and groanin' too, so he went over to her. After he looked at her,
and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Den
da policeman came across de road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said,
How are you feelin'?"

"Now, wot da fock would you have told him?"
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