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Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my
bed at night.

So, I went to a shrink and told him: "I've got problems. Every time I
go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm
going crazy."

"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come
talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those
fears."

"How much do you charge?" I asked.

"Eighty dollars per visit," replied the shrink.

"I'll sleep on it," I said.

Six months later the psychiatrist met me on the street.

"Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?"
he asked.

"Well, eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot
of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved
all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!"

"Is that so!" With a bit of an attitude he said, "And how, may I ask, did
a bartender cure you?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed! - Ain't nobody under there now!"

Forget the shrinks. Have a drink and talk to a bartender.