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A compilation of dialogues between Technical Support and Customers...

Computer Skills

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Customer/User: A white one...

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Customer/User: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.

Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?

Customer/User: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.

Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.

Customer/User: No , wait a minute. I hadn't inserted it yet... it's
still on my desk... sorry...

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Tech support: Click on the My Computer icon on to the left
of the screen.

Customer/User: Your left or my left?

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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?

Male Customer/User: Hello... I can't print.

Tech support: Would you click on Start for me and....

Customer/User: Listen. pal; don't start getting technical on me!
I'm not Bill Gates.

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Customer/User: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.
Every time I try, it says Can't find printer. I've even lifted the
printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still
says he can't find it.

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Customer/User: I have problems printing in red.

Tech support: Do you have a color printer?

Customer/User: Aaaah... Thank you.

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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

Customer/User: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

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Customer/User: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer/User: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer/User: ! OK

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer/User: Yes

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is
there another keyboard?

Customer/User: Yes, there's another one here. And that one
does work..

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Tech support: Your password is the small letter A as in Apple, a
capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

Customer/User: Is that 7 in capital letters ?

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Customer/User: I can't get on the Internet.

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer/User: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer/User: Five dots.

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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer/User: Netscape.

Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.

Customer/User: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.

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Customer/User: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a
screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse,
it disappears.

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Tech support: How may I help you?

Customer/User: I'm writing my first email.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer/User: Well, I have the letter A in the address,
but how do I get the little circle around it?

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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem
with her printer.

Tech support: Are you running it under windows?

Customer/User: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a
good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under
a window, and his printer is working fine.

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And last but not least...

Tech support: OK, Bob, let's press the control and escape keys
at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the
screen. Now type the letter P to bring up the Program Manager.

Customer/User: I don't have a P.

Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer/User: What do you mean?

Tech support: P... on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer/User: I'm not going to do THAT!
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