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The Revenoor, a most discerning and astute gentleman from out west
sent this one...

"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that love using words in
rather unique ways, such as "You can tune a piano, but you can't
tuna fish," or "To write with a broken pencil is pointless." Each year,
a competition is held to see who can come up with the best one.

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles UCLA.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

When you've seen one shopping Center you've seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care Center where a three-year-old was
resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's
all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

He drank a pint of shellac and died - but what a finish!

And the cream of the wretched crop:
Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.
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