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NCR ~ Wednesday Humor, February 19th (Mature) 
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Abie, a somewhat shy and retiring gentleman who lives a bit southwest, sent
this one on the subject of age...
AGE IS A WONDERFUL THING?
ROMANCE
An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep
but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.
She said:"You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he
reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.
A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me."
Mildly irritated,he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and
settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck."
Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
"Where are you going?" she asked.
"To get my teeth!"
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DOWN AT THE RETIREMENT CENTER
80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home.She
holds Her clenched fist in the air and announces,
"Anyone who can guess what's in My hand can have sex with me tonight!"
An elderly gentleman in the rear shoutsout, "An elephant?"
Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."
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OLD FRIENDS
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years,
they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their
activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said,
"Now don't get mad at me... I know we've been friends for a long time
but I just can't think of your name. I've thought and thought, but I
can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and
glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to Know?"
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SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the motorway and his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him," Vernon, I just
heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on I-95. Please
be careful!"
"Hell," said Vernon, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
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SUPER SEX
A little old lady who had lost her marbles was running up and down the
halls in a nursing home.
As she ran, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say, "Super
sex."
She ran up to an elderly man in a wheelchair, flipping her gown at him,
she said, "Super sex."
He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the
soup."
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DRIVING
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely
see over the dashboard.
As they were cruising along, they came to major crossroad. The stop
light was red, but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing
it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.
After a few more minutes, they came to another major junction and the
light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the
passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was
really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At
the next junction, sure enough, the light was red and they went on
through.
So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know
that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have
killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh! Am I driving?"
NCR ~ Wednesday Humor, February 19th (Mature)
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