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I received this one from Abie and Dragnet, both of who live a bit southwest...

Love Making Tips For Seniors

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

6. Use extra Polygrip™ so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.

8. Make all the noise you want...The neighbors are deaf too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!

10. Don't even think about trying it twice.

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OLD IS IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says,"Let's go upstairs And make love," and you
answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!"

OLD IS IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes And you're barefoot.

OLD IS IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

OLD IS IS WHEN....
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have
to go along.

OLD IS IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

OLD IS IS WHEN..
Getting a little action means you don't need to take any fiber today.

OLD IS IS WHEN...
Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

OLD IS IS WHEN...
An all nighter means not getting up to use the bathroom.

AND

OLD IS WHEN...
You are not sure if these are facts or jokes?
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