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Maxine's Advice For 2014

As You Slide Down the Banister of Life in 2014 - Remember...

1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive
new book. It's called: Ministers Do More Than Lay People.

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss, the Pope
only expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning, one brilliant Flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in
the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the
drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes, Now, of course, there's the
shipping and handling, too.

8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the
impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a
large trash can.

10. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.

Thought for the day: Be who you are and say what you feel because
those that matter, don't mind, and those that mind, don't matter!

And, as you slide down that Bannister of Life, you should pray that
all the splinters are pointed the other way.
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