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Lovemaking Tips For Seniors

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write your partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

6. Use extra Polygrip™ so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol™ ready in case you actually complete the act.

8. Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf, too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!

10. Don't even think about trying it twice.

OLD IS WHEN...

Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

Getting Lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

An All Nighter means not getting up to use the bathroom.

You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.
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