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An oldie, for sure, but still a chuckle...

A Redneck in France

A redneck is walking along the beach in France. There are very many
beautiful women lying in the sun, and he really wants to meet one. But
try as he might, the women don't seem to be at all interested.

Finally, as a last resort, he walks up to a French guy lying on the beach
who is surrounded by adoring women.

"Excuse me," he says, taking the guy aside, "but I've been trying to
meet one of those women for about an hour now, and I just can't seem
to get anywhere with them. You're French. You know these women. What
do they want?"

"Maybe I can help a leetle beet," says the Frenchman. "What you do ees
you go to zee store. You buy a leetle bikini sweeming suit. You walk
up and down zee beach. You meet girl very qweekly zees way."

"Wow! Thanks!" says the redneck, and off he goes to the store. He buys
a skimpy red bathing suit, puts it on, and goes back to the beach. He
parades up and down the beach but still has no luck with the ladies.

So he goes back to the Frenchman. "I'm sorry to bother you again," he
says, "but I went to the store, I got a swimsuit, and I still haven't been
able to meet a girl."

"Okay," says the Frenchman, "I tell you what you do. You go to zee store.
You buy potato. You put potato in sweeming suit and walk up and down
zee beach. You will meet girl very, very qweekly zees way."

"Thanks!" says the guy, and runs off to the store.

He buys the potato, puts it in the swimsuit, and marches up and down the
beach. Up and down, up and down he walks, but the women will hardly
even look at him. After half an hour he can't take it anymore and goes
back to the Frenchman.

"Look," he says, "I got the suit, I put the potato in it, and I walked up and
down the beach-- and still nothing! What more can I do?"

"Well," says the Frenchman, "maybe I can help you a leetle beet. Why don't
you try moving zee potato to the FRONT of zee sweeming suit?"
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