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2012 Stella Awards

For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old
Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the
McDonald's in New Mexico , where she purchased coffee. You remember,
she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was
driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right? That's
right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the
US. You know the kind of cases that make you scratch your head. So keep
your head scratcher hand.

Here are the Stella Awards for this past year -- 2012

* SEVENTH PLACE *
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her
peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside
a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the
verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.

Start scratching!

* SIXTH PLACE *
Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California won $74,000 plus medical expenses
when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently
didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to
steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

Scratch some more...

* FIFTH PLACE *
Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania , who was leaving a house he had
just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic
garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open.
Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage
to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em,
EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued
the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental anguish. Amazingly,
the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish.
We should all have this kind of anguish Keep scratching. There are more...

Double hand scratching after this one.

* FOURTH PLACE *
Jerry Williams, of Little Rock , Arkansas , garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when
he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by
his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its
owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the
jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite
because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot
the dog with a pellet gun.

Pick a new spot to scratch, you're getting a bald spot..

* THIRD PLACE *
Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia
restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke
her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown
it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. What ever happened
to people being responsible for their own actions?

Only two more so ease up on the scratching...

*SECOND PLACE*
Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby
city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her
two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies
room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club
had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.

OK. Here we go!! Drum roll ...

* FIRST PLACE *
This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was: Mrs. Merv Grazinski of
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased new 32-foot Winnebago motor home.
On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway,
she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the
back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich not surprisingly, the motor home
left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued
Winnebago for not putting in the owners manual that she couldn't actually leave the
driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are
you sitting down? $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed
their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives
who might also buy a motor home.

If you think the court system is out of control and America has lost ALL common sense,
be sure to pass this one on!
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