.
.
Dragnet, a very perspicacious gentleman who lives a bit southwest, sent
this one on a Beijing hotel that he claims that appreciates his needs…

Beijing Hotel Brochure

A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel.
It is precious. She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed.
Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from the Mandarin to
English

Getting There:
Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs
along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know
that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The
manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse
with all new guests.

The Hotel:
This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always
pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings
to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose
themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies
in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with
themself.

The Restaurant:
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner,
our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.

Your Room:
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room
is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity!
You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and
the lake is used only by pederasts.

Your Bed:
Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other
ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be
very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also
squeeze your trousers.

Above All:
When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will
struggle to forget it.
.
.

.

.
.