Beijing Hotel Brochure

>> A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the
>> hotel. It is precious. She is keeping it and reading it whenever she
>> feels depressed.
>> Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from
>> Mandarin to English
>> Getting There:
>> Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the
>> hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in
>> passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel,
>> because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in
>> the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new
>> guests.
>>
>> The Hotel:
>> This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course
>> are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are
>> available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are
>> invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But
>> please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar.
>> We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play
>> with them self.
>>
>> The Restaurant:
>> Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting.
>> At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and
>> fiddle with you.
>>
>> Your Room:
>> Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In
>> winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering
>> views of outstanding obscenity! . You will not be disturbed by
>> traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used
>> only by pederasts.
>>
>> Your Bed:
>> Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you
>> have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take
>> advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts,
>> blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.
>>
>> Above all:
>> When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope.
>> You will struggle to forget it."
>