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It seems that everybody who has a dog calls him Rover or Boy. I call
my dog Sex.

Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to get his
license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex.

He said, "I'd like to have one too."

Then I said, "But this is a dog."

He said I didn't care what she looked like.

Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 year old."

He said I must have been quite a kid.

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me.
I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special
room for Sex.

He said that every room in the place was for sex.

I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night."

The Clerk said "Me too."

One day I entered Sex in a contest but before the competition began, the dog
ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking
around.

I told him I had planned to have Sex entered in the contest.

He told me that I should have sold tickets.

"But you don't understand." I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on television."

He called me a show-off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to file for custody of the dog.

I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I got married."

The judge said "Me too."

Then I told him that after I was married, Sex had left me.

He said, "Me too."

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him.

A cop came over to me and asked "What are you doing in this alley at 4:00 in
the morning?"

I said, "I'm looking for Sex..."

My case comes up on Friday...
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