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Keystone a gentleman who lies way out west, where it seldom rains, sent this one
about some children and their sometimes ribald descriptions...

Kids! How Their Minds Work!

Children Writing About the Ocean. The next time you take an oceanography course,
you will be totally prepared!

1) - This is a picture of an octopus . It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6 )

2 ) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all
round you, you are incontinent. (Mike, age 7)

4) - Sharks are ugly and mean , and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's
not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

5) - A dolphin breaths through an a$$hole on the top of its head. (Billy , age 8)

6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes
back with crabs.
(Millie, age 6)

7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes
when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother
said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)

8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny
tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant ? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad
keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what
to write. (Amy, age 6)

10) - Some fish are dangerous . Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock.
They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in
to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)

11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small.
(Kevin, age 6)

12) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing . She fell off when she was going very fast.
She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)

13) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know.
(Bobby , age 6 )

14) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't
know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

END OF CRASH COURSE!
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