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Should I Really Join Facebook? (Priceless)

Read it all the way through! It's a good laugh! AND really quite true!
A good laugh for people in the over 60 group!

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business
I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music,
takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter.
I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so that my seven
kids, their spouses, my 13 grandkids and 2 greatgrand kids could
communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle
something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

My phone was beeping every 3 minutes with the details of everything
except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not
ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get
lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I
keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red]
phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was
standing in line at Barnes & Noble talking to my wife and everyone in
the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid
out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady
inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run
into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say,
"Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was
like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh
and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made
a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship...

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of
the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone
\as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless
phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't
figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around
digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty laundry
baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up
every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle
on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time
I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth
reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take
them with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or plastic?"

I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual."

Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked
if I tweet. I answered, "No, but I do fart a lot."

We senior citizens really don't need any more gadgets. The TV remote and
the garage door remote are about all we can handle.
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