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I was trying to find when I did my first Chip Board humor post. While I'm not
sure if I actually found the first one, this is definitely one of my favorites...

Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband
decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with
himself as the beneficiary, and arranging to have her killed.

A friend of a friend put him in touch with a notorious underworld figure who went by
the name of "Artie." Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing
out a spouse was $5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn't have any cash
on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid something up front. The man opened up his wallet, displaying
the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed
to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Woolworth's grocery store. There,
he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved
hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the
manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the scene.

Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie was left with no choice but to strangle the
produce manager as well. Unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by hidden
cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police.

Artie was caught and arrested before he could leave the store. Under intense questioning at
the police station, Artie revealed the sordid plan, including his financial arrangements with
the hapless husband.

And that is why, the next day in the newspaper, the headline declared:
(Scroll down - You're going to hate me for this...)
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"ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR AT WOOLIES!"
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