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The Alamo Kid, a most enlightened gentleman from the Lone Star State, sent this one
about lost keys...
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Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel; I desperately gave myself a personal
TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick
search in the meeting room revealed nothing.

Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the
parking lot.

My wife has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory
is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Her theory is that the car will be
stolen. As I burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion: her theory
was right. The parking lot was empty.

I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left
my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all, "Honey," I stammered; I always call her
honey in times like these. "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard
her voice. "Idiot", she barked, "I dropped you off!"

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."

She retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."

Yep it's the golden years.
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