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Dragnet, a very discerning gentleman who lives a bit southwest, sent
this one about two older Jewish ladies...

Dorothy and Zelda, two older Jewish widows, are talking.

Dorothy: "That nice Hymie Cohen asked me out for a date. I know you
went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him
before I give him my answer."

Zelda: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7:00
PM, dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such
beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there? But a
luxury car... A limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he takes me
out for dinner ... A marvelous dinner ... lobster, champagne, dessert, and
after-dinner drinks. Then we go see a show."

Pausing, Zelda continued: "Let me tell you, Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much
I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are Coming back to my
apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears off
my expensive new dress and, before I know it, has his way with me two
times!"

Dorothy: "Goodness gracious! So you are telling me that I shouldn't go out
with him?"

Zelda: "No, no, no ... I'm just saying, you should maybe wear a shmata
(old housedress)."
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