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Keystone, who lives out west where it never rains, sent this one about a woman
planning to be married a fourth time...

A woman who had been married three times walked into a bridal shop one day
and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth
wedding.

"Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and color dress
are you looking for?"

The bride to be said: "A long frilly white dress with a veil."

The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, "Please don't take this the wrong way,
but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being
married the first time - for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what
I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?"

"Well," replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's directness, "I can assure
you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my
marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride."

Pausing, she continued, " You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding,
he died as we were checking into our hotel. My second husband and I got into such a
terrible fight in the limousine on our way to our honeymoon that we had that wedding
annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again."

"What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk.

"He was a Democrat," said the woman, "and every night for four years, he just sat
on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever
happened."
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