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Abie, the rather shy and retiring gentleman who lives a bit southwest, sent
this one on quick thinking...

A man in the Safeway Store in Texas tries to buy half a head of lettuce.

The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads
of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says
he’ll ask his manager about it.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asswipe
wants to buy half a head of lettuce.”

As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind
him, so he quickly added, “And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the
other half.”

The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.

Later the manager said to the boy, “I was very impressed with the way you
got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their
feet here. Where are you from, son?”

“Canada, sir,” the boy replied.

“Well, why did you leave Canada ?” the manager asked.

The boy said, “Sir, there’s nothing but slutty skanks and hockey players up there.”

“Really?” said the manager. “My wife is from Canada.”

“No shlt?” replied the boy. “Who’d she play for?”
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