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A lady with a prize-winning schnauzer figured that he was going deaf. The
dog wouldn't come when she called. When she took him out for a walk he
wouldn't heel like he had been taught to do. As a matter of fact, when the
dog wasn't looking and she called him, he acted like he didn't hear her at
all. So she took him to the vet.

The vet looked the dog over and gave him a complete physical.

He told the lady, "There's nothing wrong with your dog at all. Look here. He
has excessive hair growing in his ears, which probably led you to believe that
he is deaf. He can't hear you, but he isn't deaf. You can treat this with a
depilatory. I haven't got any in stock, but you can get some Neet or Nair at
your local pharmacy. This will work just as well as the doggy brand will."

So the lady went to the nearest store and picked up a small bottle of Nair
and looked over the instructions. There was nothing on the carton that
related to her dog so she took the bottle to the druggist and asked his
advice.

"How do I apply this product?" she asked. "Do I put it on right out of the
bottle or do I dilute it or what?"

The druggist said, "For your legs, put it on straight. Right out of the bottle.
For your underarms, I recommend that you dilute it 50-50 with water."

She said, "I don't think that you understand. It's for my schnauzer."

"Oh," said the druggist. "In that case, I suggest that you dilute it 3 to 1
with water. And by the way, I wouldn't ride a bicycle for a few days."
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~~~Computer Slaps Man~~~