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One early Sunday morning, a very proper southern woman was rushing
to get ready for church. The woman ran frantically throughout her house,
tore through her closet, threw her clothes over her head and dashed out
the door to her car.

When the woman finally arrived at the church, she saw a man coming
toward her. "Tell me, sir," she panted in her very strong southern drawl,
"Is M-ass out?"

"Nope," the man replied. "But, your hat's on crooked."
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