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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

How many times we have heard this question?
A few plausible suggestions by some prominent people:

BARACK OBAMA
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken
wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need
to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other
side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road.
This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One,
that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the
road. But then, this really isn’t about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH
We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know
if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against
us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY
Where’s my gun?

COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the
chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE
I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was
the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am
not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL
The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first
deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem
on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid
he’s acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to
cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes
and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that
he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed
to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE
That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and
the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing
order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain
level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed
the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth? That’s why
they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that
chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out
this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases
like the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as
simple as that.

GRANDPA
In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us that
the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for
the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting,
and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken2011, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs,
file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an
integral part of eChicken2011. This new platform is much more stable and will never
reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?
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