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The Revenoor, a most discerning and astute gentleman from out west, sent this
one on Mature Truths, awhile back...

Mature Truths and Observations

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your entire
computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
that you are wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I
know how to get out of my own neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a whole lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died. (Yelling and screaming? Kicking and fighting?)

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the
rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't
want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I
want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did
not make any changes to.

14. Do not machine wash or tumble dry means I will probably never wash
this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn!) but
when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and then goes to voice mail.
What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day, what a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would be willing to bet that on any given
Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with Miller Lite, than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an Avoid Ghetto/Gang Turf routing-option.

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and will
suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than
make two trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say, What? before you just nod and smile
because you still didn't hear or understand a single word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent
a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty. You
can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber every year?

29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond when you're sure you're going
to die after leaning your chair back, just a little bit too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter
what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times - and still not
know what time it is.

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a
pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet
my anything that everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away,
in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

And one more...

The first testicular guard, a/k/a the Cup, was used in hockey in 1874 and the first
helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that
their brain is also important.