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A pair of groaners...

A workman was killed at a construction site. The police began questioning a
number of the other workers. Based on past brushes with the law, many of
these workers were considered prime suspects.

They were a motley crew:

The electrician was suspected of wiretapping once but was never charged.

The carpenter thought he was a stud. He tried to frame another man one time.

The glazier went to great panes to conceal his past. He still claims that he didn't
do anything; that he was framed.

The painter had a brush with the law several years ago.

The heating, ventilation and air conditioning contractor was known to pack heat.
He was arrested once but duct the charges.

The mason was suspect because he gets stoned regularly.

The cabinet maker is an accomplished counter fitter. The autopsy led the police
to arrest the carpenter, who subsequently confessed. The evidence against him
was irrefutable, because it was found that the workman, when he died, was
hammered.

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A man lost two buttons from his shirt and put them in his pants pocket. But the
pocket had a hole, so the buttons fell into his shoe. Unfortunately, the shoe sole
also had a hole, so he lost the buttons.

Since pockets with holes, holes without buttons, and shoe soles with holes are
useless, the man ripped the buttonholes out of his shirt and the pocket from
his pants and tossed them in the trash along with the soles of his shoes. After
looking in a mirror at the holes in his clothing, he decided to toss his clothes in
the trash as well.

A policeman observed all this and asked the man for identification. The man then
produced a document that he was an ordained minister of the gospel.

So, of course, the policeman promptly escorted him to a mental institution. The
minister protested violently, asking why he was receiving such unjust treatment.

"Look, it's the best place for you now," the policeman replied. "Anyone claiming
to be a preacher, but who doesn't save souls or wear holy clothes has probably
lost his buttons."