.
.
A recently retired Nebraska farmer went to Dallas for the first vacation he had
taken in his entire working life. He checked into a downtown hotel, but when he
got to his room he immediately called the front desk.

The farmer said, "This here bed kin sleep the whole Cornhuskers football team!
I only wanted a regular-sized bed."

The clerk responded, "That is a regular size bed, sir. You have to remember that
everything's big in Texas!"

The farmer went to the hotel's bar and ordered a draught beer. When he was
served, he said to the bartender, "This is as big as a milkin' pitcher. I only asked
for a glass of beer!"

The bartender answered, "That is a glass of beer, sir. You have to remember that
everything's big in Texas!"

When the waiter in the hotel's dining room brought out the steak that the farmer
ordered for dinner, the farmer exclaimed, "That steak's as big as my thigh, the
baked potato's bigger 'n a watermelon, and this corn-on-a-cob's as big as a baseball
bat! Where'd this come from?"

The waiter replied, "It's all local, sir. You have to remember that everything's big in
Texas!"

When the waiter asked the farmer if he wanted to see the dessert menu, the farmer
said he might be able to squeeze something in, but after consuming all that food and
drink he needed to use the restroom first. The waiter directed him to go down the hall
to the first door on the right.

By this time, the farmer was quite inebriated and mistakenly went through the first
door on the left. He walked across the tiled floor and fell into the swimming pool.

When the farmer came sputtering to the surface, he yelled out, "For God's sake, please
don't flush!"
.
.