Thank You David Spragg for getting me into the Palace for the Royal Wedding!!

David and I arrived shortly after 1 am central time and greeted the other guests. David was able to get us into the Royal Dressing Room in to see the dress. It was made by McQueen, and the princess was bellied up to a tray having a McRib, careful not to get any sauce on the dress (it was rented). Once she began down the aisle David began crying uncontrollably. Soon after, I began as well, she was so lovely. Coming into the Abbey a young lady was holding up her dress so paparazzi might get an up-skirt shot. It is rumored the lace on her veil matched the lace on her knickers.

The Queen Mum arrived and got out of the car on the wrong side. The boys in the Salvation Army suits herded her in the direction of the ceremony. She wore a stunning yellow hat and waved to the crowd with the official vertical hand oscillation wave complete with fake smile to the little people (unwashed masses). David and I were so touched! Yes, we were touched by some pervert standing behind us. Prince Charles rode Camilla up to the front stoop. Camilla wore a fine English saddle and sporty springtime hat with her ears protruding.

The high point for David and me was the “Kiss”. Oh, it was so tender, we got weak at the knees. It took the crowd by surprise as well. Everyone had expected the prince to break her over the railing like a shotgun and load her up right there on the spot. Camilla was starting to get restless and making a huge mess on the front steps where she was tied, so the ceremony was getting trimmed down.

The couple left around 6 am heading for a Motel 6 in Reno. Motel 6 had left the light on for them.

David caught the bridal wreath – Lucky him!! We are still teary eyed over such a beautiful wedding. David is crying a tear too because he is a tax payer footing the bill for all of this. I brought him a $19.95 knock-off of the ring I bought on QVC and he said he would never take it off. Wanting a drink we ran headlong into the Scotch Guard and we were forced to have Gin instead (all the scotch was locked up). Jason Skinner caught the princess’ garter belt and has already put it on eBay with a high reserve.

I am just to emotional to write any more right now. David will have to fill you in on the rest.