What we in the US want to know is, what is Kate’s dress going to look like and does she have an English designer or is she going with the Brazilian designer? The whole world sits poised waiting on the answers. The US media is reporting that even the horses that will be used are undergoing scrutiny of proper shape and color. There are millions of cheap knock-off rings being sold all over the country and wedding planners are all but making book on what the bill-of-fares will be, and who of the who’s who will be on the 1900 guest list.

I, like most other men, could care less about how long her dress is, how wide the horse’s ass is or even the color, let alone want to hear another infomercial about time running out on the priceless princess’s ring for only $19.95.

So. Please end all the suspense and spill the beans on the princess’ dress (pun-intended).

This dress thing is holding up our wars and civil unrest around the world.