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HTH, a most erudite gentleman from out west, sent this one showing translations
from the Lone Star State...

The good folks from Texas don't always understand what some people from California say.
A language professor from Texas has come up with a list akin to the Rosetta stone that will
help in translating conversations with liberals.

CALIFORNIA------------------- TEXAS

Arsenal of Weapons-----------------------Gun Collection
Delicate Wetlands-------------------------Swamp
Undocumented Worker-------------------Illegal Alien
Cruelty-Free Materials--------------------Synthetic Fiber
Assault and Battery-----------------------Attitude Adjustment
Heavily Armed----------------------------Well protected
Narrow-minded---------------------------Righteous
Taxes or Your Fair Share-----------------Coerced Theft
Commonsense Gun Control--------------Gun Confiscation Plot
Illegal Hazardous Explos-----------------Fireworks or Stump Removal
Nonviable Tissue Mass-------------------Unborn Baby
Equal Access to Opportunity-------------Socialism
Multicultural Community-----------------High Crime Area
Fairness or Social Progress---------------Marxism
Upper Class or "The Rich"----------------Self-Employed
Progressive, Change----------------------Big Government Scheme
Homeless or Disadvantaged--------------Bums or Welfare Leeches
Sniper Rifle--------------------------------Scoped Deer Rifle
Investment For the Future---------------Higher Taxes
Healthcare Reform------------------------Socialized Medicine
Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater---------Conservative
Truants------------------------------------Homeschoolers
Victim or Oppressed----------------------Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing
High Capacity Magazine------------------Standard Capacity Magazine
Religious Zealot---------------------------Church-going
Reintroduced Wolves---------------------Sheep and Elk Killers
Fair Trade Coffee-------------------------Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
Exploiters or "The Rich"------------------Employed or Land Owner
The Gun Lobby----------------------------NRA Members
Assault Weapon---------------------------Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine)
Fiscal Stimulus----------------------------New Taxes and Higher Taxes
Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting----------Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs
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