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A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in
a long time. What happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."

"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle and I got hit with a cannonball, but
I'm fine now."

The bartender replied, "Well, okay, but what about that hook? What happened
to your hand?"

The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into
a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really."

"What about that eye patch?"

"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea and a flock of seagulls flew over.
I looked up, and one of them sh!t in my eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird sh!t."

"It was my first day with the hook."

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