COLD IS A RELATIVE THING. People in Upstate New York lead the way.

65 above zero:

...Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Upstate New York plant gardens.

60 above zero:

Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Upstate New York sunbathe.

50 above zero:

Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Upstate New York drive with the windows down.

40 above zero:

Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Upstate New York throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:

New York city landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Upstate New York have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above Zero:

People in Miami all die.
Upstate New Yorkers close the windows.

Zero:

Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Upstate New York get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:

Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Upstate New York are selling cookies door to door.

20 below zero:

Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Upstate New York let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:

Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Upstate New Yorkers get upset because they can't start the snow-mobile.

40 below zero:

ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Upstate New York start saying...'cold enough fer ya?'

50 below zero:

Hell freezes over.
Upstate New York public schools will open 2 hours late.