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You don't have to own a cat to appreciate this one! You don't even need
to like them...

We were dressed, and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We'd
turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet
parakeet, and put the cat in the backyard.

We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived
and we opened the front door to leave the house.

As we walked out the door, the cat we had just put out in the yard, scoots
back into the house. Because she always tries to eat the bird, we didn't
want the cat shut up in the house.

My wife goes on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat.
The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife
doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night.

So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, He's just going
upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.

A few minutes later, I get into the cab.

"Sorry I took so long," I said, as we drove away. "That stupid bltch was
hiding under the bed. I had to poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her
to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then,
I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching the hell out of
me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into
the back yard!"

The cab driver hit a parked car.
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