.
.
Ebad, a somewhat shy but always irrepressible gentleman from the midwest,
sent this one about a little elderly woman and her day in court…

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?

Little Elderly Woman: I am 71 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened on the
night of April 1st?

Little Elderly Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch
on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch
and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Elderly Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?

Little Elderly Woman: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Elderly Woman: No, I didn't stop him..

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Elderly Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died
some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Elderly Woman: He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?

Little Elderly Woman: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Elderly Woman: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. You have
no idea! I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Elderly Woman: Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down
and told him: Take me, young man. Take me now!

Defense Attorney: And, did he take you?

Little Elderly Woman: Hell, no! He just yelled, April Fool! and ran off.... And that's
when I shot that little basterd!