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Abie, a rather shy and retiring gentleman who lives southwest, sent this one about
parent's notes to the teacher...

No Parent Left Behind... These are real notes allegedly written by parents in the
Memphis school district. Spellings and grammar have been left intact.

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and
misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the
growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by some very
close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She
had diahre dyrea direathe the sh!ts.

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what
size she wear.

16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off
the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was Sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the
marines.

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and
upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever
and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something
going around, her father even got hot last night.

Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids.