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During camouflage training in Indiana, a private disguised as a tree had made
a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general.

"You idiot!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling
the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?"

"Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically... "But, if I may say so, I did stand
still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a
muscle when a large dog took a pee on my lower branches. But when those two
squirrels ran up my pant leg and I heard the bigger say... Let's eat one now and
save the other until winter... well, that did it!"
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