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Abie, a rather shy and retiring gentleman who lives southwest, sent this one.
He referred to it as the best story of the year and I'm inclined to agree...

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for
answered prayers.

Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two
months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scro-tum
was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know
if they could help him."

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine
the pain that poor Phil must have experienced.

"Phil was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused
him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it
turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Phil's scro-tum,
and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."

Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they all
imagined the horrible surgery performed on Phil.

"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital
and the doctors say that with time, his scro-tum should recover completely."

All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone
else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.

He said, "I'm Phil."

The entire congregation held its breath.

"I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum."
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